Context: When I was thirteen I fell really hard for the only boy I'd ever spent any time with. He was a friend of the family. We held hands twice before the adults caught on and shut it all down. I wrote this is my diary shortly after that incident.
Dear Diary, August 18
Oh I feel so horrible! How could I do this? I've preached to my friends but I'm just a hypocrite. I'm so confused and ashamed. If I can't say "he's my first love" on my wedding day, why does it even matter how many there have been. I'm a used napkin now. I know God used this to teach me, but why did he have to steal the gift of a pure heart? Why did I let this happen? It's not fair. My life is a mess. I wish I had a different life. I wish God put me somewhere else. I wish i could stop wishing! I don't want to be a worldy girl. I hate them. I hate how they gossip. I hate thier flirty clothes. I hate thier cakey makeup and nail polish. I hate how they always seem so happy... I hate that I want to be one of them, and I hate how it shows.
-Sarah
I just want to hug this poor girl!
ReplyDeleteWell, I also want to slap her parents. To be clear, I wouldn't actually slap them because I don't approve of violence, but the urge is there.
Wow. They even let you blame yourself for the fact that they ended your relationship. There's some hypocrisy for you.
ReplyDeleteO my gosh, Sarah... I sooooooo get this diary entry. It could have been mine.
ReplyDeleteugh.