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| Is this real life? |
I was doing some research today for a blog post I'm working on when I typed in that unfortunate phrase. "Godly Marriage." Most of the articles I found said the exact same things:
Men must lead, women must follow, follow these rules or your marriage will fall apart, etc etc.. This article however, takes the cake. It spells out (in no uncertain terms) what all the other christian marriage guru's were too PC to say. I've included a few quotes, but be sure to stop by the website for the full article. Sweeping generalizations and stereotypes are not enough for Dr. Keith Sherlin. He will not rest until you are thoroughly convicted of your many marital sins. Enjoy the ride folks, and be sure to tie your computer down to the desk or you might end up chucking it at the wall....
"A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation"Now granted, this is one of the worst articles I've ever seen, but it was on the FIRST PAGE of my "Godly Marriage" google search. And i found nothing by a Christian that refuted it. Just lots of other well-known Christian leaders saying the same exact thing in softer words.
"Men must love the wife enough to work and provide for the essential needs of the woman. Procrastination, or being lazy, will damage the relationship."
"The woman must understand that God has designed man in such a way that sexual fulfillment is one of the most essential ways that he understands his mate's love"
"In the cases where the woman neglects her body, appearance, or other detail to make herself attractive to her spouse she has become to some degree a liar. She deceived her mate into thinking she would maintain this appearance in the courting process. Then when she thinks she has won the man she lets her body go to waste, her appearance dwindle with little to no concern to please the senses and eye of her mate. This is deceptive and sinful."
I really want to believe that Christianity is not really diametrically apposed to equality, but Christian literature is making it pretty hard.
Blech. I don't think I could read more than the quotes you provided of that jerk without going on a mega-rant myself! It is like gentle parenting, I think--there are some Christians out there who believe it and follow it, but too often they are drowned out. Have you read Families Where Grace is in Place by Jeff VanVonderan? It is a beautiful and life-changing book (for me, at least). Also, this is the FB link for Christians for Biblical Equality. They have some great resources. <3 https://www.facebook.com/ChristiansforBiblicalEquality
ReplyDeleteI always find it strange that all evangelistic preachers miss the point that marriage started as a political institution and religion had absolutely nothing to do with it until the religious leaders of the time thought it might be a good idea to make marriage a religious rite.
ReplyDeleteI read a little bit of the site you linked to and it is just awful - it is just about what the woman should do to make the man happy. I have on occasion shown my husband sites such as you have referenced and asked him if he would like the idea of a submissive wife - he just looks at me as if I have gone mad :).
We've been happily married for nearly 18 years, childfree by choice but I guess for the uber-religious we are doing something wrong because we have sex without producing children. There was no religion involved in our marriage because we live in a country where it is normal to get married without religion.
Female submission, woman raising children at home, men providing 100% of the family income, modesty, etc. are such vital aspects of the Christian faith that Jesus mentioned them exactly... ZERO times. Not to discount Paul's words in the Bible, I do believe his words were divinely inspired, and they are some of the most beautiful I've ever read in all of literature (1 Corinthians 13, end of Romans 8, anyone?). But if female submission was such a vital tenant of Christianity, you'd think Jesus would have brought it up...
ReplyDeleteEeeewwww. Even reading that stuff gives me a the heebie jeebies. I try to avoid it as much as possible. And to think I used to believe all of that stuff, and it did NOTHING to make our marriage better or happier. The while mindset of wifely submission to her husband, shuts down communication, and that will never improve relationship.
ReplyDeleteDude. Disturbing. Calling someone a liar because their body changes? Seriously? Yeah, I do want to throw my laptop at the wall!
ReplyDeleteOooooh I so don't believe in this definition of marriage anymore. Nope. I do believe it's as individual as the people. Blech. This stuff was the most destructive stuff to my marriage with my hub.. so so terrible. Again it's a formula...it's a mold... and I don't believe in those anymore.
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