tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post7674859679719061937..comments2024-01-07T16:05:33.403-06:00Comments on Who I Am Without You: Still Crying: Pieces of PipeSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01007257169361470843noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-77349287051405438912012-09-08T08:23:39.201-05:002012-09-08T08:23:39.201-05:00I absolutely identify with the instinctive fear yo...I absolutely identify with the instinctive fear you talk about. My husband learned early on in our relationship that he could NEVER tickle me. He still has to announce his presence verbally when coming up behind me, because even years later I have been known to scream - loudly - if I'm touched on the back or shoulder without warning. Now that I'm pregnant, acquaintances somehow think it's okay to touch my belly without asking permission, but when I see hands reaching out to me, fear sometimes still grips me. At least now I know that it's okay to say "No, please don't touch me." I only wish I had been allowed to learn physical boundaries in a healthy way as a child, and I'm determined to provide a safe space for my own daughter to develop her boundaries. <br /><br />I hated being tickled when I was young -- it made me feel angry and helpless, but I couldn't control the involuntary laugh reflex, so everyone assumed that I was enjoying myself. And I was terrified of being accused of "talking back" so I never acknowledged my feelings to my parents in calmer moments, for fear of unwittingly earning a spanking. I've already instituted a ban on tickling our soon-to-be-born daughter. Although my husband thinks I'm over-reacting (since we won't spank, he doesn't see the harm in tickling), I think the dangers of teaching a child that she doesn't have the right to her own bodily space far outweigh the benefits of a few tickle-induced laughs.Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03611189674544632522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-37779203771328569242012-09-07T09:20:51.630-05:002012-09-07T09:20:51.630-05:00I only wish I hadn't been afraid to call Child...I only wish I hadn't been afraid to call Children's Services, or that the people I dropped hints to and tried to reach out to would have called them. How could so many adults have known and never protected me?Katy-Anne Binsteadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15528465833214550644noreply@blogger.com