tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post6649606013985814278..comments2024-01-07T16:05:33.403-06:00Comments on Who I Am Without You: HeartsickSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01007257169361470843noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-40881495467436266372013-02-16T21:59:44.446-06:002013-02-16T21:59:44.446-06:00Questioning make people scared when they have pat ...Questioning make people scared when they have pat answers and one liners to support their faith. Asking questions about faith that others don't want to face forces people to look at their questions or leave the friendship. I am so sorry that you have lost support just when you need it. I understand. I've been speaking out about my doubts and fears, and have lost two friends who said they were my family. The pain on top of pain is horrible. <br /><br />Others will always have their own pains to deal with, but that never excuses cutting off a friend for struggling with faith. I'm very sorry that you have to go through this. Fernnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-70620923276567489012012-04-11T10:50:09.295-05:002012-04-11T10:50:09.295-05:00This is a diary not a debate. :) If you have somet...This is a diary not a debate. :) If you have something you think you'd like to say to me, feel free to email or text.Enigmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779444962182438901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-1625242703608237112012-04-11T10:39:00.337-05:002012-04-11T10:39:00.337-05:00As the husband mentioned in the post, I can perhap...As the husband mentioned in the post, I can perhaps shed some light on another point of view perhaps. Any takers?Unknownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04979798272396545189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-42519026625997585692012-04-08T15:22:28.688-05:002012-04-08T15:22:28.688-05:00Enigma has every right to talk about how she is hu...Enigma has every right to talk about how she is hurting in whatever way she needs to. It is totally wrong of you, Maria, to come in here and triangulate (which is dysfunctional) this situation. This is not your battle or your business.buzzalothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07038571867413294939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-57025740133383083022012-04-06T15:19:42.718-05:002012-04-06T15:19:42.718-05:00"it's a sad, lonely, betrayed-type of hur..."it's a sad, lonely, betrayed-type of hurt that abandonment causes."<br><br>so true. :/ after all the hurt and frustration, i only want the best for her. I'm not even mad, just really sad. :P Its good to hear that im not alone.Enigmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779444962182438901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-2028819173567341782012-04-06T15:16:38.443-05:002012-04-06T15:16:38.443-05:00Thanks Libby :) I have gotten more anonymous comme...Thanks Libby :) I have gotten more anonymous comments on this post than any before. I cant decide if I’m really a terrible person or if it's just someone i know. All i can do is respond from my heart. <br>It doesn’t make sense to me that other people would be so personally offended by my internal questions. Sometimes I feel like i spend more time dealing with everyone else’s pity, fear, and anger than i spend dealing with my own thoughts. <br>Thanks for the encouragement :)Enigmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779444962182438901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-18941084888167809542012-04-06T15:07:40.743-05:002012-04-06T15:07:40.743-05:00Thats awesome that you got your friend back! I hop...Thats awesome that you got your friend back! I hope that happens for me some day. In the mean time i am resigned to just leave it alone. She has her life and i would never presume to tell her how to live it. Thanks for the support :)Enigmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779444962182438901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-62747689695370338432012-04-06T15:05:43.252-05:002012-04-06T15:05:43.252-05:00Exactly! which is why i dont censor my comments. P...Exactly! which is why i dont censor my comments. People have been saying some harsh things about me, but i'd rather publish them than never hear them at all.Enigmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779444962182438901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-1611345282532535822012-04-06T15:04:10.400-05:002012-04-06T15:04:10.400-05:00Thanks Melissa :) All these "anonymous" ...Thanks Melissa :) All these "anonymous" comments have been frustrating for me. I always automatically blame myself for everything, which is why i fought so hard for so long to maintain my relationship with her. I ignored all the little jabs, slights, and hurtful words for EVER. I didnt ever mean for so many people to get so upset, I wish this was still a safe place to pour out my heart. Thanks for the love!Enigmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779444962182438901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-46625088565373172582012-04-06T10:42:22.470-05:002012-04-06T10:42:22.470-05:00Not that you need to hear this now, but, when you ...Not that you need to hear this now, but, when you make new friends that love you for you and nothing else, this pain will disappear in the distance. Sure, you can remember it with a pang in your gut every once in a while, as I do when I think of my Mama, but with the good friendships of the present and the brighter future, it won't feel like "Heartsick" anymore, but rather like reading a sad page of an autobiography - forgotten when you close the book.Incongruous Circumspectionhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16232186225573312896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-53916641016044256822012-04-06T10:36:25.800-05:002012-04-06T10:36:25.800-05:00Hey Honey,Your little post about the loss of a fri...Hey Honey,<br>Your little post about the loss of a friendship you had considered close, could have been written about the loss of any friend. The fact that all of these “anonymous” commenters keep showing up to ream you out is just more proof that this friend is feeling perfectly free to bad talk you behind your back while claiming injury from a post you wrote on the topic of friendship ending over faith without even mentioning her by name. How is what she is doing any different than what she claims you did by writing this post? ((Hugs)) I’m sorry that this has gone so badly, I know you value your friendships highly. You have always made such a strong effort to be there for your friends. Try to remember that you have value and you are a loyal awesome person.<br>Love from your Sister.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13674332089949439989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-88433570113264637052012-04-05T23:54:06.879-05:002012-04-05T23:54:06.879-05:00You have to release the dove, and if it was meant ...You have to release the dove, and if it was meant to be....it will return to you. <br><br>Look at the situation with wisdom and compassion. People do all sorts of things for reasons that are not always that obvious. <br><br>I understand what if feels like to be rejected by someone you love....but people do grow apart....it happens. It's part of the journey. You have absolutely no control over how other people will treat you, but you do have absolute control over how you will treat others. What about someone you love deeply? What if that friend, who probably has hidden/valid reason reasons, seems to reject you for a time? What if you feel pain? Will you air your dirty laundry in a public blog? Anonymous schmonymous. It's the public internet.....and if I was your friend I would feel hurt after reading this public pity party too. <br><br>I know it hurts deeply to feel rejected. It's a shaming feeling...like there is something wrong with you. But it's possible that this is all in your head. I'm sure you have deeply offended your friend by this post. Sometimes even our best friends need some space. Keep loving....but don't force yourself. That's just annoying. <br><br>Your friend just had a baby? It was in extreme bad taste to post an article like this at such a time in her life. <br><br>You have to look at people with understanding for where they are in their journey if you want the same in return. <br><br>After reading your article several times I am constantly struck by how "woe is me" and victimized it all sounds. This is just strait talk opinion...not an attack on you by any means. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-67321136093175571182012-04-05T09:55:12.689-05:002012-04-05T09:55:12.689-05:00So because you moved on, so should she? Jeez.Appar...So because you moved on, so should she? Jeez.<br><br>Apparently you have a rather cynical view of life and your friends. Yeah, people let you down. Doesn't mean it hurts any less when they do.PrincessMiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15035200390758281305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-57840581043023692842012-04-03T00:30:02.255-05:002012-04-03T00:30:02.255-05:00I don't know any of you. I would text you but ...I don't know any of you. I would text you but I'm not one of your friends, I'm just a blog reader. I was trying to give you a non bias opinion which it didn't seem like you were getting anyone else that had some stake in the matter.<br><br>I had a friend that I grew up with that one day decided to delete me from his life without even giving me a reason. After starting my career and becoming successful in life he tried to re-friend me... It was too late though. I also had one of my friend from out of state come up to visit my girlfriend at the time(whom he had never met) and decided not to even tell me. There is always one thing you can count on friends for and that is let you down.<br><br>family is usually a safer bet, but in some cases thats not true either.<br><br>Sorry i can't text or call you but i don't have your number.Anon2.0noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-39547988561378535472012-04-02T11:22:48.052-05:002012-04-02T11:22:48.052-05:00First, this blog is anonymous. (As I mentioned in ...First, this blog is anonymous. (As I mentioned in my note at the bottom of this post.) Only a few of my sisters know about it. (Or so i thought)Second, this comment really confused me.... You seem very angry, which makes me think that you probably know some of the people mentioned (anonymously) in this post. Which means you probably know me personally and have my cell phone number. If you are angry with me or feel you have insight into the situation please feel free to text me. I can't really respond appropriately or properly address your concerns if you insist on presenting yourself as an "anonymous" commenter.Enigmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779444962182438901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-42563530462974727802012-04-02T11:15:38.195-05:002012-04-02T11:15:38.195-05:00Thanks for your kind words :) ((hugs)) It has been...Thanks for your kind words :) ((hugs)) It has been a very painful journey for me these last few months. :/ It so good to hear that i am not alone. i added a little note at the end of this post as sort of response to the "stressy situation" thing.. I wish it was just a huge misunderstanding, i really do. I didnt let myself believe it was over for so very long.Enigmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09779444962182438901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-12142056756904748782012-03-30T23:28:01.576-05:002012-03-30T23:28:01.576-05:00Well it certainly seems that you don't have a ...Well it certainly seems that you don't have a lack of "friends" or people that are already asking for the title "best friend" Both people should just suck it up and move on... It's called "life" now live it!<br><br>And how could you seriously not expect your "best friend" not to read your own blog/diary? I guess you really didn't consider her your best friend then; did you?<br><br>This may not be any of my business but since you are posting on a public blog then I'm assuming that you are asking for advice.<br><br>Stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on. It's time to grow up and blow away.Anon2.0noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-14945877661585789392012-03-20T11:27:28.216-05:002012-03-20T11:27:28.216-05:00My dear sarah, you're such a sweet person and ...My dear sarah, you're such a sweet person and I feel for your loss and pain. We've all lost friends and family because we left a certain group of beliefs... and it hurts so much every time.<br>You know, maybe it would be a good idea to ask your friend for a serious talk about this, giving her time, letting her decide when to have it. Be honest about your impression of the situation and ask her for her point of view on it. You've been friends for 10+ years I guess and it would be a shame to to lose that over something that might've been said over a stressy situation (on both sides). I know this means that your pain could grow bigger, but the way I see it, at least you won't have to ask yourself if you've tried everything to be the best friend you could possibly be.<br>Maybe give her some time to cool down and think it over. I'm sure that would help you as well. Oh my, Sarah, if we lived next door I'm sure you'd be a great friend for me, I so felt everything you described in your post.brokendaughtershttp://brokendaughters.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-13338223101271392802012-03-17T16:17:20.171-05:002012-03-17T16:17:20.171-05:00All the responders who are feeling for the friend ...All the responders who are feeling for the friend - who certainly deserves our consideration, everyone does - need to remember that Enigma is not the one writing the comments. If people are unnecessarily harsh, that is their opinion and has nothing to do with the post's author. <br><br>Also, blogs are pretty anonymous for most of us. I know it's disconcerting to read someone's perceptions of you personally on an open forum, but the chances of you knowing the other readers are generally nil. And it's my personal opinion that the world would be a far better place if we could all see ourselves analyzed by others. Even when we disagree with the conclusions.Pippihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05598890631695015818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-79816239639441572212012-03-17T16:08:30.380-05:002012-03-17T16:08:30.380-05:00Narcissistic, huh? Like thinking you are so import...Narcissistic, huh? Like thinking you are so important you have a right to dictate someone else's emotions? Like you, anonymous?<br><br>Oh, what's the use. An Orthodox minister I read said that words are the the shell of the nut; and if the person doesn't have the perception to taste the meat within, your words are just empty shells. So true.Pippihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05598890631695015818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-16416856914225016932012-03-12T10:30:02.829-05:002012-03-12T10:30:02.829-05:00When I converted to another (Christian) faith trad...When I converted to another (Christian) faith tradition, my best friend freaked out. (This was a lateral move that I made alone, without my husband) She told me we were no longer 'like minded' and that I was 'destroying my family' and it would 'never be the same'. I was...crushed. Several months later, she decided she missed her friend and she would rather have that back than to 'be right'. I was GRATEFUl, so grateful for the blessing, it was unexpected. I had resigned myself to accepting and respecting her decision, although I did respond and take issue w/ her assumptions. I do truly believe that a *for real* friend would never jump ship over something like this. As much as it hurts, that may be the case. But give it some time. It also sounds as if the husband could be the impetus. So sorry!!herewegokidsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-82757394960318632912012-03-12T10:27:58.970-05:002012-03-12T10:27:58.970-05:00I just read through the comments here, Sarah, and ...I just read through the comments here, Sarah, and I want to say that you responded to your detractors with maturity beyond your years. I know from personal experience that that kind of thing isn't easy.<br><br>The most frustrating thing in the world is friends who are made uncomfortable by our own questions - not questions of them, but internal questions about everything we once believed. Questions are never wrong, but they do make some people very uncomfortable, and I think that' is a horrible shame. Questions should be encouraged, not feared. <br><br>Best wishes to you on your journey, as always!Libby Annehttp://freethoughtblogs.com/lovejoyfeminismnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-70257610806763267622012-03-11T23:58:05.898-05:002012-03-11T23:58:05.898-05:00And you know this how, Anonymous?Somebody who brea...And you know this how, Anonymous?<br><br>Somebody who breaks contact with a friend has no right to expect the friend to censor her self-expression on her own blog.Catsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17084507343646105148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-89464455492052050482012-03-11T21:22:49.129-05:002012-03-11T21:22:49.129-05:00i'm so sorry and this is awful!! :( your "...i'm so sorry and this is awful!! :( your "friend" shouldn't treat you this way because you have "different" religious beliefs. that's not fair. this makes me so sad and angry for you!! you deserve to be heard acknowledged and treated fairly. you asked if you should apologize for your questioning the existence of God. NO! you have the right to your questions and no one has the right to make you believe or think anything you don't want to. i'm so sorry your heart got trampled on.froglahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17285825751301910324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4819060966829014139.post-5765061166031877762012-03-11T21:20:23.071-05:002012-03-11T21:20:23.071-05:00I have had two extremely close friends completely ...I have had two extremely close friends completely disassociate from me when I left my family's home. one just had a baby yesterday. I used to live across the country from her: I now am just 8 hours away. but I know I'm not welcome.<br><br>it's a sad, lonely, betrayed-type of hurt that abandonment causes. i'm sorry you're experiencing it.<br><br>my best wishes and hopes for a continued recovery for your ex-best friend (what I call mine) after her birth.kalipayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10608316420127656841noreply@blogger.com